Thursday, December 14, 2006

This Night of Lewd Jokes Brought to you by Nabisco

Thursday, December 14
4:18 AM

Feeling a bit weary. Go figure. Woke up at 6:30 yesterday morn, had a busy day. I was tired by 9, you know, tired like you're tired after a nice, productive 24 hours. Here I am, about 30 gumdrops and an energy drink and a half later, feeling a tad like I have no idea why I'm posting.

Probably should've called this one BFTSOB, but it's more like blogging for the sake of entertaining myself in my ultimate quest to stay awake, as the two tipos playing tetris next to me aren't exactly being the most entertaining shrubs ever when they're slaving in front of a screen. Speaking of Vorgoth and Koops,

Obviously, I just realized that I have no idea what I'm blogging for. Like Juicy, I was abut to delve into a hardcore (or as hardcore as a Klingon can get at 4 in the morning) talk about feelings, but realized it was dumb and I would probably find myself out of a friend or two. In any case, this is going nowhere. Forgive me, I'll post something substancial soon (this time when I'm actually awake enough to understand what I'm typing).

Means, motive, opportunity. You've got it all....what are you waiting for?

Friday, December 01, 2006

"The E Factor"

I suppose the name is somewhat misleading, seeing that it doesn't necessarily have to be just the letter "e". It can be, and often has been an "ie", "ee", "ey", or even "y" by itself. The point is that all of these combos make a long e sound, a long e sound that has proved itself to be very recurring in my life.
You see, a few weeks back I had a shocking revelation- Every girl that I have ever been attracted to from kindergarten to ninth grade has had a name ending in a long e sound. Every single one. Some people may dismiss this as mere coincidence, but with the running motif of nexus of fate and predermination in our little friend group, I'm inclined to explore the possibility that this is more than mere coincidence, though I'm not about to lay claim to being spawn of God like Juicy does. Perhaps, as J_Vert once suggested to me, I've constructed a self-fulfilling prophecy in that I have effectively destined myself to be attracted to only E girls, but to me this theory seems flawed, as I can only see myself constructing such a prophecy once ...I have a radar in my room....There's Fire on the Knoll.... Okay reader, if you had the cleverness to notice the date on this post and actually look through it, I applaud you. As a reward, I will begin to tell you an epic tale: The Saga of The Frank. It begns so:

There were many Franks in many worlds, sometimes two in one world, or three, or four, but generally spread out through the universe, unaware of the effect the other Franks were having on his life. Some were even unaware of the other Franks' existence. Such was the case with The Frank of Unknowing. This Frank, The Frank, was a man in a world not his own, adventuring foolishly off into the Jungle neighboring his Arctic home. Indeed, the Jungle was a foreign land to The Frank, who had lived all his life in networks of caves and ridges on snowy mountains warding off Snow Tigers. Or killing them. A Snow Tiger was a creature which seemed to live to die, time after time it would attack Man, and Man, with its superior intellectuality, would kill the Snow Tiger, flay it, and make it into a nice vest, or maybe even a pair of suspenders, 'cuz Snow Tigers have metal in them too...right... In any case, The Frank longed all his life to venture out of his land and kill a Jungle Tiger, a real Tiger, the kind that make for one hell of a man-purse. Finally, when he came of age he left the Arctic region and went into the Jungle. He set up permanent camp next to a fellow hunter with more experience, The Fred. The Fred had lived in the Jungle for a long time and had never caught a Tiger, though he swore he would someday soon. The Frank thought The Fred was a nice enough guy, though they became only neighbor-friends, you know, the kind that talk over the fence but would never talk about feelings with one another, and certainly not about the Tiger.
Slowly over the next month The Frank's hunting skills increased until he truly belived he had a shot at killing it, but he chickened out because his master Tiger-catching plan made him fear for his life, and for what the Tiger and his relationship would be like if he failed. Then one day The Frank woke up and went outside to mow his lawn, when he saw the Fred sitting out on his front porch, wearing Tiger-skin socks.

The Frank had no idea how much this would affect he and the other Franks in the grand scheme of things.


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

"The E Factor"

I suppose the name is somewhat misleading, seeing that it doesn't necessarily have to be just the letter "e". It can be, and often has been an "ie", "ee", "ey", or even "y" by itself. The point is that all of these combos make a long e sound, a long e sound that has proved itself to be very recurring in my life.
You see, a few weeks back I had a shocking revelation- Every girl that I have ever been attracted to from kindergarten to ninth grade has had a name ending in a long e sound. Every single one. Some people may dismiss this as mere coincidence, but with the running motif of nexus of fate and predermination in our little friend group, I'm inclined to explore the possibility that this is more than mere coincidence, though I'm not about to lay claim to being spawn of God like Juicy does. Perhaps, as J_Vert once suggested to me, I've constructed a self-fulfilling prophecy in that I have effectively destined myself to be attracted to only E girls, but to me this theory seems flawed, as I can only see myself constructing such a prophecy once realizing the pattern, which only happened recently. Is it then possible, that I constructed such a prophecy completely subconsciously?
Truth is, I'm not that slow. Once I realized the presence of the E Factor in my life, I recall realizing it earlier, I believe during winter of last year. Somehow it had slipped my mind since then, and it is frightening to realize that my 2005 year crush was in fact an E girl herself. Now with a full grasp of the E Factor, I fear that such a prophecy truly exists and is unescapable, though recent possible attractions which are "on the table" challenge that claim. Will I be guided by the hand of this twisted fate forever? Will my new subconscious directions for myself cheat me out of possible valuable non-E relationships?

Unbeknownst to many, Bruce Wayne claims to have a natural immunity to indigestion. I just think he's obese.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

It's French...for Dumbass

Yeah, I found it. Days ago. I joked about how I'd find it in my backpack, and guess where it was- yeah. It's almost poetic that the Crapulator's journey began with an act of dumbassity and returned to such a state. I need to go work on my self-esteem.

Speaking Lotza Vulcan
Eyebrows perch and dip like birds
Quoting you, mayhaps

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Missing: One Crapulator

Once upon a time there was a stupid little boy who lost not only his calculator but that of his good friend's. This idiotic little tipo put off the issue of having to recover and/or buy calculators for next school year, not wanting to consider the 150-plus dollars which would inevitably have to leave his (proverbial) wallet (No, JV, you can't get THAT much from the money cup). All summer he tried not to think about it, but without prompt it would suddenly surge at him on dark, sinful nights of adventure and corruption. He feared that the price to pay for those unspeakable sins would not begin to measure up to in any capacity the arm, leg, or other appendage he would need to sacrifice to bounce back from his debt of moronicness.
Finally, and tragically (for more reasons that algebraic disadvantages) summer rolled on out of town, leaving behind it nothing but memories, desires, and a tumbleweed that to this day rolls through town just begging the local burly men for a rendezvous at high noon. Anonymous boy (If anyone has an istrice for a brain, that's me, Sherlock) at long last was forced to face the music.
And by the grace of God (EDIT: higher power??) and my own blessed stupidity, I was saved- A friend lent the other friend a calculator indefinitely, and, as we all know, I bought one off ebay. And I love it with all my heart.
Loved it. That's right, the Crapulator is GONE. I can't seem to locate it, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. If one good thing has come of this, it's that I now have blog post material, and I will keep you posted as the search commences, and continues.


"It's not unreal! It's real, I tell you! I've seen it!"- Stonewall Gutenberg

Friday, October 27, 2006


I'll assume any readers I get today are ones flooding over from JV's to actually check the date on "The Big 4-0". So be it. At least it may get my nonexistant readership back a bit (seeing that any of the four people who actually read this blog most likely gave up hope in the almost 2 moths I spent not posting). Anywho, I'm back now, and I'll try to stay a while.
I've recently come to realize how ridiculously incompetent I am when it comes to the internet. I mean, I'm not trying to brag, but I'd like to think that I've had some pretty decent idaes for web projects in the past, most notably in the last year or so. The most well-known (but not even close to the best), was of course SFU. Anyone raeding this who knows me (as in, everyone who could possibly have heard of this blog), knows that back in May I used to jump around different SciFi websites tagging the hot new SciFi Ultraists, which, to be fair to my bruised ego, wasn't all taht bad of an idea. You see, the original idea I came up with for it was to basically have our (my friends and mine) very own weekly podcast dealing with science fiction reviews, classics, fun facts, etc. Basically, us ahving a good time talking about one of our favorite things. As a matter of fact, i still think the whole idea is a worthwhile one if we can ever figure out what the hell we're doing. The idea, in a nutshell, was to integrate this podcast-type show into a scifi webpage, essentially creating a site that people would hopefully be attracted to by the podcast until enough people joined our little clan for us to have a viable, semi-functioning community.
Here's the catch- None of know the first thing about making a website. As a matter of fact, in our fear of our own incompetance, we were not up for committing any sum of money (be it 10 dollars or more) to the project. Ultimately, our inexperience and lack of commitment was its downfall. Since the SFU tragedy, many more ideas have been thrown on the table- Ismyhomeboy, Insidejokesonamug (this one's money, I promise!), but we've come to realize that we can't go anywhere with these ideas because we have no idea what we're doing. I suppose it's a learning process, but none of us have the time, money, or devotion- just the inspiration and conceptuality. Still, I gotta make this ASGC website real quick-like.

Another pointless post brought to you by the OSK

Speaks he who rules our thoughts and minds

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Big 4-0

Tomorrow's one of those days that just plain makes the old people (read: the generation above us) feel old- at 8:30 tomorrow night, Star Trek will have been around for four decades. I almost wonder what it must have been like, sitting on the couch in Fall 1966, watching TOS's "The Cage". It would be great to go back and watch it at the time, knowing that it would become such a huge franchise, and knowing that these characters would become such classic icons in science fiction. In a time when television entertainment, especially science fiction televison entertainment, was in such an infant state, Trek blazed the trails that many shows, not only scifi, followed for years to come. It started a form of entertainment that lasted forty years, and hopefully will go forty years more. It's certainly a time to embrace, as TOS symbolized the complete unity that "Bandwagon to the Stars" hoped to achieve. In short, I don't know where we'd be without Trek.

Remember Gene Roddenberry!

Oh, and anyone that's interested- I currently have "The Trouble with Tribbles" with me, and I am totally watching it tomorrow. Oh, and I am so doing all 79 episodes for the 50th in 2016.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Time to Rock

Ok, so honestly I only wanted to post to get that hideous photo off the top of my page, as it reminds me that I still must suffer the consequences of my actions (I plan on informing the rents/ making payment at some point tomorrow). The best I can hope for is that the blotch does not prove itself to be a massive issue and that the calc is in good enough working order to last me a long, long time. Well, it's in my prayers.
Okay, it's September, I guess I should do your typical teenage back-to-school blog post. I've come to realize that any way you slice it, school ends up making me unhappy in the long run. I mean, let's face it, school is great most importantly because of how it brings so many awesome people together in one place. Throughout the 9 months of my school year, I'm sure that I'll begin many new relationships and further explore the great ones which already have foundations laid. That's what I really look forward to. When you think about it, do you really think that years from now you'll be looking back nostalgically on how good you were at school academically? I know I won't, which is why (and teachers hate me for this) my philosophy has always been to make the mostof the experience first, and the most of my academics secind.

Which is what landed me with an 81 average last year.

81. That sounds bad to a lot of my friends, seeing that the majority of them are much smarter than I, but the way I see it, I'm in the middle area. Sure, we've got a lot of brilliant(ish) kids at our school, but we also have some academic stinkers. Still, the middle is not at all satisfying, so naturally I'm driven to at least try to get up around an 86 this year, if not higher. Unfortunately, I've found last year that the harder I work, the less enjoyable my experience becomes, and the experience is much more valuable to me than the grades. I'm sure this'll come back to bite me in the ass come college counseling, but I'm going to have a ton of fun from now until May, then a hell of a lot more over the summer.

Time to make this year rock.


Friday, September 01, 2006

The Crapulator

See that? That's my new calculator. Or at least it is for now. It's also the result of one of my biggest dumbass moments of all time- Let me put it this way- Never put me and Ebay together. EVER.
So basically I was just browsing around Ebay, seeing if I could find a replacement to the calculator which I have apparently lost (I still have faith in finding it) when I ran across this little sucker. Now, to tell you the truth, I don't really remember what happened next- it happened too quickly. From what I do recall, without noting the small, small amount of time left for bidding, I placed a high bid just to see which other bidder's automatic rebid would outdo me in case I actually did decide to go for this prize in the future. Well, I won it. I bid, and it told me I won the item. For the first minute or so I was happy, heck, I just got a used calculator for under $40! Then I realized that, while the seller does have a good track record, he also put into action a no return policy, and suddenly that supposedly purely aesthetic black blotch (yep, that BIG one) was very suggestive of other not so ignorable flaws. That, and my parents will probably be pissed when they realize I used the Ebay account to buy a used calculator that looks like crap. Come to think of it, they don't even know mine's missing, seeing that I don't really think it is. In any case, maximum bidding 15 bucks over the current high bid was very, very dumb.
This event was followed by a period of panic, as I now have two calculators I must find/buy (yes, Josh, I haven't forgotten you) and a third which I don't even want anymore. Oh well, right now I'm trying to sell it to the second highest bidder in the original auction. Wish me luck.

Screw you, George Sullivan.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

I like flirting half-naked, do you?

No, as a matter of fact that's not very high on my to-do list. Getting suggestive with someone I don't know at 1am without even seeing their face is not that appealing to me, but that's not what flirt hotlines want you to think. It's getting increasingly frustrating how after 11pm, certain tv channels seem to flip the switch for their sex commercials. I'm sorry, but I already feel alienated from society (what with me watching SNL at 1am), can't you at least play a healthy line-up of normal commercials to make me feel normal?
Okay, so I guess I can see where these accusations of asexuality come from, seeing that this is my third post to date (2 in a row!) trashing sex/relationships, but the truth is that these hotline ads are just one example of how commercials have gone downhill in the past few years. I mean seriously, commercials are the bane of a tv fan's existence anyway- We just want to see our shows, preferrably more of them and less of the ads- but if you're going to have ads, couldn't you at last make them half-decent? From the point of view of a network, it's got to be more mutually profitable to try as hard as possible to turn all 60 minutes of a show (or 30 minutes, if you're into shows of "now-you-see-it, now-you-don't" duration) into quality entertainment?
Sure, there are oodles of entertaining commercials. They usually fall into 2 categories- 1)Funny- the majority of entertaining commercials. There's nothing like getting a good laugh in between segments of your shows, especially when it's one of those times when you just can't stop laughing, or 2) Just downright cool- usually this involves some sort of visual effects extravaganza or, of course, a display of physical determination and achievement (See- Goarmy commercials with the rock-climbers). However, there are just a ton of commercials that aren't at all entertaining, and don't even seem to try to be. Like Pop-Tarts (Just go with me on this one). Seriously, what's so great about watching poorly drawn cartoons talk about how great Pop-Tarts are, make some bad pun or horrible attempt at physical comedy, and then show the "Pop-Tarts" colorful label and end? I don't care what Pop-Tarts taste like, that commercial sucked.
I miss the good old commercials of yesteryear- Suki hacking the car plant via laptop, the Toyota spy/crossdresser- good times(At this point I'm going to assume I've lost you). In any case, maybe if networks raised their standards for commercial entertainment, the entertainment in commercials would rise. Just a thought.

-The warrior without a batleth(No, that was not a reference to any physical shortcomings)

Give power back to the Jedi!

Why Am I So Sick of Being a Teen?

Halleluiah! "Spin" won a Hugo! Congradulations, Robert Charles Wilson, you deserve it for writing such a magnificent work of Science Fiction that didn't bore 15-year-old readers to death. On a sadder note, it doesn't look like I'll be having Tacos tonight, though I will have my hands on diet Birch Beer (the stuff does not taste like Birch Beer, but since my dad feels like indulgence in foods is bad, I was pressured into getting diet). An advanced apology to Carol, for I have been trying to edit my links and for some reason I can't get your blog to show. I'll figure that out soon.
In any case, I'm not here to BFTSOB. In fact, I'm here to address a question which was recently asked of me (Given, I believe I'm paraphrasing) and if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm shocked. Why am I so sick of being a teen? Well, it's not so much that I'm sick of being a teen, but rather I'm sick of all of us- My friends and I- being teens. It just simply disgusts me how so many teengagers make a huge deal out of their personal lives and interactions when there are such bigger problems in the world. I mean seriously, think of all the time that you waste wallowing in self-pity because you don't have a girl/boyfriend, time which could be better spent making some kind of difference or at least helping out(Friends, please note that this is not directed towards or based on any one person, but teenagers at large)?
Now, since I'm talking about relationships, let me clarify that I'm not at all against them nor do I view those in high school relationships in a condescending fasion. However (and this can be painful, I'm sure), you need to realize that they are just high school relationships. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be ridiculously close to your high school sweetheart, but don't lure yourself into the feeling that it will last forever (which many teenagers do). If it does last a lifetime, that's great, and pretty cool from my third-person perspective, but we're not even adults yet, we're not experienced enough to know how to perfectly handle a relationship, and chances are that someday it'll fall through. It's a learning process- the more you lose, the less likely you are to in the future. Just don't set your heart on hitting the jackpot on your first (or second, or third) try. That's how your heart not only gets broken, but sets itself into a process of self-cannibalisation (I wonder, could the idea of self-destruction destined from creation be the key to perpetual energy? Probably not.) which causes the "victim" to wallow in self-pity instead of doing something worth-while.
It just seems like we're so jumpy, like we're afraid that anything we rely on could fall through at any time. Well, that's no way to live, especially for a decade or so of your life. I honestly can't wait to be 25 or so, I mean, sure we'll still have issues with relationships and angst (somewhat), but my friends and I (those I retain and those attained anew) will have grown out of most of the immaturities which made us so hard to reach or so difficult to please in high school. To sum it up, I hate how the pressures of the teenage years drive us to such immature levels.

Oh, and I want to be able to skydive.


Liv uten utfordring er liv uten mål.

Don't even try to translate that, grammatically it was about as right as port.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Free Will or Not?

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

Whatever happened to Pokemon? Yes, it's true, I was a fan. Not because I actually cared at all that I had a Japanese Riachu with more power than any other card I'd encounter, save for your everyday Charizard, but because for me it was a bonding experience. As I assume all of you know, I live in a small community with a handful of kids my age. Despite the fact that I live basically the same distance from them now as I did in the Pokemon days, I still have drifted away from some. Given, there is one whom I'm actually better friends with now than I was then, and I see him almost on a daily basis, and there still is a girl that I enjoy swimming with, playing video games with, and just hanging out in general with, but that's 2 out of 6 or 7. Most of the others are girls, one of which I just don't have much in common with anymore, and the others people that didn't go to school with me until now, so we're not very close.
But then I think back to Pokemon summers, the summers between 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades when the lot of us would grab our binders full of cards and go into Andrew's, where we'd crash on a a bunk bed (6 kids on two beds, yeah, we were smallish) and sit talking and trading for hours, maybe even throw a good old fasioned game of hide and seek in there afterwards. Dorky or otherwise, it was a valuable bonding experience, and once we "grew out of it" something was lost. In short, I really do miss it and hope that somehow I can reconnect with these friends in the way I could then.

Desire is the product of ignorance. Accomplishment is the product of knowledge and faith in your own abilities. Read 'Cyanide and Happiness'.

Monday, August 21, 2006

And Life Goes On

And now I'm over it. Maybe it's just because I don't really believe it yet, seeing that the last episode I ever see will not be until June, but seriously, it stinks, but it's just entertainment. Let's face it- Skiffy is a bunch of bozos. I mean finally they advertise an episode substancially enough (yes, the ever-beloved '200') and the ratings skyrocket, surpassing that of even Atlantis (Which, by the way, has been renewed[Can I get a woot woot?]), but too late, they've cancelled it already. I'm willing to bet that that episode brought back some viewers who had migrated elsewhere in the last year or so who will at least stick with it until it dies now, but the network just randomly decided to announce cancellation 2 months before usual, and so didn't even let us see how SG-1 did after the 200th episode.

And he's completely right- If a show like 'Firefly', with 14 episodes can come back from the dead, SG-1 is almost guaranteed. Given, I'm not counting on a third network picking up the series, though that would be heavenly (wouldn't Spike be awesome for the job?), seeing that there's no way Skiffy will sell the rights to SG-1 while still airing Atlantis, but they're bound to pull a Farscape and give it a miniseries, or (and this is my preference) they'll follow in the footsteps of Trek and hit the big screen. The fans will not let this go with so much plot still unresolved.

Oh, and I totally made this post just to prove that this actually didn't have a huge impact on me, especially after the initial 30 seconds.

I do not have a man-crush on Ben Browder, but even if I did, what would be wrong with that? I'm sure it'd be just like Comedy Central's "The Roast of George Takai". Okay no, but he got picked on enough for it to be.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Insomnia of Guilt and Intrigue

Alright so I knew that these repeated all nighters and late nights would eventually come back to get me, but this is just getting ridiculous. For the last week I haven't been able to fall asleep until around 2 a.m. and I've been waking up between 12 and 1 p.m., and that was frustrating enough, but this morning I find 3 o' clock on its fair way and me sitting on my couch, blogging, and watching an episode of the X-Files on Skiffy (The good David Duchovny days, not the lame years after. Not that that was the fault of the actors, I love Pileggi and Robert Patrick, but seriously, suckage is suckage.). There are, of course, possible reasons for my lack of sleeping tonight that span beyond my already messed up sleep cycle- First off, I definitely am feeling like a dick now that I've been such a back-talking, unappreciative friend (Yeah, I'll shut up about it already, but you know, these things bug me. A lot.) So yeah, my guilt definitely plays into it. That, and I'm suddenly feeling very emotional, like I want to experience love, excitement, and intrigue all at once, all right now. In any case, I'm not sleeping and after 2 hours I got sick of staring at the cieling on a not particularly comfortable pillow.
I haven't been doing anything as of late, and it's definitely getting on my nerves. I'm a person that likes to get out and be active, have some fun, and now suddenly all I'm doing is acting like a bottom-feeder with a particular taste for couch cusion. I suppose tomorrow I'll be more active in some way.

And so concludes my short and pointless post.

-Your Klingon

Oh, you want a fortune cookie? I'll give you a fortune cookie!

Man who can't sleep stay up all night, then feel like crap in the morning. Never make a milkshake out of warm diet coke and an ice cream sandwich. Without adding mentos:)

Internet Safety, Kiddies

I apologize to all you devout readers (as if) for my not posting in so long- I simply seem to have run out of things to talk about in the past few weeks. This could be partially due to the fact that my last post explained why blogging can sometimes be a nono for me, but I think that summer has also brought a sort of peace to me that makes me not want to complain about anything, and a laziness that makes me not want to write and continue to be a couch potato (By the way, I'm sitting on the couch watching tv right now [Shhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone]). That, and I much prefer blogging on my phone.
Anywho, I figured I'd raise the topic of internet safety. You see, it's starting to bother me how much the older generation is fearful of the internet (and I'm not just talking about my relatives, but teachers, police officers, etc.). You see, I realize that the internet can be dangerous because people can use it to pretend to be someone and something that they aren't, and that's why arranging to meet someone when you are young and unnacompanied (as seems to be the cliche nono for parents) or doing anything of that sort is a clear sign that you are an idiot and usually unappreciative of what you already have. However, what the older generation fails to realize is that the internet is the new great medium for communication- It can be used for long-distance businesses, relationships, and friendships.
So what I don't get is why they fear it so much. They somehow fear that by putting your information on the net, you will be violated or otherwise hurt. I mean c'mon, most of my blog-buddies (excuse the expression) know that they have a goodie-bag of personal info in their profile, and they're still around. You see, it's not at all about how much information you give about yourself- I could give all of my personal info out and chances are I'd be fine. It's really about how you conduct yourself, as in, don't make any enemies and don't arrange any meetings. Think about it- Why is it that when you meet someone IRL, it's considered acceptable to give them your info- at least, your name, hometown, and age even though you really don't know this person at all? It's the same exact thing. I just wish that the older generation realized that to be hurt, the offender needs not only means, but motive. You hear about people getting killed by people they meet over the net, but there had to be a reason- if the killer just wanted to kill, why wouldn't he/she just kill some person they didn't have to squeeze info out of? Ok, rant over....Now I'm bored.

There is no point in ignoring the truths that built us in order to change ourselves. Rather, delve into those truths and discover the lies behind them, if only to know for sure.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

That Elusive Truth

For long I have been trying hard to discover why it is that blogging gives me a certain feeling of discomfort. Initially, I pinned the blame on the idea that I was paranoid and, to a degree, cold, not feeling fine with this blog acting as a window into who I am for others to glance at in passing and judge as they see fit. But no, I've decided that my entire being, my entire personality, is a window into my soul- Let's face it- Those of you who know me personally know that I tend to wear my emotions "on my sleeve" as the phrase goes. You want to know me, then know me. I don't really care- In fact I like it when you want to know me. To sum up a boring, redundant paragraph, I was wrong. Oh yeah, and I'm comma-happy.
The answer is simple, and, as Gavin would say, it is "disgustingly me". You see, the point of having a blog is to express your views. The issue with that is that in expressing your views, each blog entry in itself has to be some kind of attack on a notion, ideal, or system embraced by society as a whole, or a large portion of society. After a while I begin to feel that I've almost taken on an antagonistic role, or more specifically I begin to feel a bit like an outcast, the vaginal pad among the sea of tampons, if you will. I don't want to talk about politics, and other than that I think the world's running fairly smoothly, and in the places it isn't I think everyone's doing the best to make them smooth. So in a nutshell, I'll keep this blog generally upbeat and won't mention that both Stargates got a 1.5 this week (insert frowny emoticon here).

"A great turning point lies ahead of us. The children will go forward and discover themselves, come into their own as a race. Of that I have no doubt. The real question is whether they can support the population of the fatherland they have forgotten long ago."

- Cenron Henderson

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My Final Blog Post Before I Leave Blogspot Forever

Is not this one, thank God! Woo, that was a close one.

Had you going there for a second, hehe.

Do not search for me in a crowd of people, but let the crowd lead you home. I will be there waiting.

-Jesus ( Ok no, but he would have said it!)

Monday, July 10, 2006

Poetic Outlet

In the beginning
There was birth
In a day with a beginning all its own.
With Sunrise.
A sun that, in the blink of an eye
Billowed into existence
The life of all men and women,
And with a cough
And a final, vengeful assault
Did die out just as quickly and inevitably
As it was concieved.
The definitive sunset
And death of the infant child
Now wizened and grey,
His cough rocks the world
But his legs haven't the strength
For the assault to leave his own soul.
How easily turbulence reminds us of the inconsistency of life
We find ourselves at a loss
Even to locate a consistent beginning.
How is it that we are so sure of the End?

When air tastes like water, and water like honey, a happy soul finds paradise in their hellish pain.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

You Only Live Once

It's a phrase so obvious and blatantly true that its power and significance to us as mortal beings is astounding. There he goes, he said "mortal". Golly gee willickers, he's giving us another death talk. Well, no, sorry. I think I've pretty much covered that subject at the present time.
What I want to talk about is how people interpret the fact that life only comes once in an eternity (as far as we know) for any individual, and how they use that fact to further themselves. Specifically, I'm talking about friendships and romantic relationships.
There is such a pressure for people to be romantically active, and if that's their choice I'm fine with that. But ever since the beginning of civilization there has been pressure upon young people especially to form bonding pairs, as I remember hearing once that some ancient civilizations would marry off deceased, unmarried young women because they felt so strongly that love between a man and a woman (nowadays not always limited to such) was that important. It is important, but I fail to understand why people find it strange that I have no desire at this time to pair. Hell, I'm young. I don't know what I want in a girl, I don't know how to get it, and I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship. It will always remain a mystery to me why, aside from in my ring of friends, the majority of my peers cannot comprehend that. It's not that I'm not attracted to people- I am, but nothing strong enough to be earth-shattering, and I find that any attraction I begin to feel I push away in a short time. Maybe someday I will be ready for a relationship; there's an equal chance that I'll never find the need. Maybe it's my naive outlook on the world, as I'm sure my friends who have experienced teenage love would kindly condescend me by saying "You don't understand, you will when you meet her.", but I truly feel that friendship is such a strong bond that it's all a some men (and women) need.
I want to make it clear that I don't mean to speak down to couples at all, because if that works for them, then so be it. It just may not be the right path for me. Only time will tell.
What it really comes down to, then, is that I have two lives I wish to live in one lifetime, and I know with almost absolute certainty that they can never coexist. When my high school career was commencing, my uncle sat me down and started telling me about how, in high school, he had dated a girl through all four years. He reflected upon how this had brought him away from his friends and how he regrets this very much. This is something that all people entering into a relationship accept, but it is not something I am willing to yet. Part of me wants to have a family and a wife down the road, but another wants to be independent and living it up with my friends all around. For now, I'm attracted inevitably to the independence, and I pray that people can accept that.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Mr. John Rosemond

So I was recently taking a bathroom break and uncharacteristically reached for some reading material , coming out with my local newspaper. An article caught my attention specifically- a short section written by John Rosemond that completely trashed video games and elaborated exstensively on how they had negative effects on the development of children. I disagree, and feel the need to ramble about it for a while.
Now, I want to make it clear that I have nothing against Mr. Rosemond and can at least see where he comes from on his stance. However, he is looking at all the negative ways that the technology can be used and completely ignoring the positive possibilities, which are equal if not more in quality. He cites a letter which he recieved from a mother that told a tale of how she and her husband bought their children an Xbox and the system basically wrecked their family relationships. I don't doubt the validity of the story- far from it.
What I do doubt is the parenting job in this story. The mother explains how she and her husband have always restricted their children to watching a few hours of tv a week and playing solely simple, constructive games like building with Lincoln logs and magnetic bricks. Sounds good, right? But these parents are shielding their kids from real technology in the form of human development- video games have become the Lincoln Logs of the new generation. I'm not talking about Halo. Or Duke Nukem. I'm talking about the way that computer and video games and tv can be used as a learning medium to more effectively reach the new generation.
Maybe I was upset by this article because I don't like it when people try to live in the past, shielding their children from the alleged 'evils' of the millenium. Maybe it was because I can't stand parents who obviously need to better govern their children better and instead of accepting this blame their troubles on the Xbox (seriously, with all this sheltering I wouldn't be suprised if these kids when beserk over Tetris). Maybe it's because I don't like Mr. Rosemond shutting away all of the good possibilities of video games because of what appears in the article to be almost a fierce prejudice. Speaking of which, I was a little offended by the style he wrote the article in- quite literally an 'I told you so' in every way. Not at all arrogant. Wjhatever the reason this unsettled me, I think it all comes back to how we should never generalize.

The one thing that we all have to share is the fact that we must all walk our chosen path alone.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Star Trek XI

I have to say, this is starting to scare me. And at the same time, I'm starting to get excited. After all, arguably ignoring Enterprise (though Season 4 was pretty awesome), Star Trek has, in the long run, been solid through and through in both its TV series and its movies, so why would I have any reason to worry that XI would be any different? I'll tell you why- Because good ol' J.J. is trying to bring it to the younger generation. Now, said like that it sounds like a pretty good idea, but he's doing it at the expense of plot (potentially). I hate to generalize, but using Enterprise as an example, we can see that prequels are really not the way to go here. I mean seriously, they can be interesting, but there are infinitely more things you can do and more interesting plot twists you can have if you do a sequel instead of a prequel. After all, can we trekkies really ever accept different actors than Shatner and Nimoy as our beloved Kirk and Spock? It's doubtful that the majority would, but I'd like to think that I'm capable of accepting the change. That is, if the new actors are phenomenal.
Matt Damon wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I thought 'phenomenal', but here we are with rumors of him sitting in the captain's chair, fresh off the set of 'The Bourne Ultimatum'. Or is it Legacy? I never did see Supremacy. Maybe that was because the first one was your cliche hot sercret agent thriller with shoot-'em-up problem solution, predictably resolved sexual tension, and a cop-out, confusing ending that just screamed 'let's leave room for a sequel just so we can make another crapload of money.' I'm sure the books were good, though; they get high praise. Oh, wait- Disgression!
But seriously, I have nothing against Damon. I really do have mixed feelings on the prospect of his casting, seeing that I know that it means there is no room for mistake- when you cast a guy like Damon in such a classic role as Kirk it's either going to be the best thing for Trek since Connor Trinneer (I'm a bit of a fan) or the biggest disgrace since T'Pol.
And once again, everything really comes down to the script- Damon can be a solid actor when he tries, but if the script- the true soul of the movie (and yes, I may feel that way partially because I'm a wannabe scriptwriter myself)- is mediocre, the franchise might not be able to take it, and with Berman and Braga off the game anything can happen. After all, Deep Space Nine was a hit with the fans, and though Voyager's a great show it never did and still doesn't get the publicity it truly deserves, and of course by the time Enterprise actually decided to turn itself into a quality show it was too little too late my cuddly little friend. So the way I see it, XI can either redeem the franchise or finalize its significantly reduced quality. I fear for the latter, but hope eternally for the former.
Will J.J. be able to modernize the franchise without hurting the franchise? Only time will tell.

French is the language of love, so my funnies say.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Hey again.
I've finished Spin. It can be argued, I suppose, that it was somewhat a cop-out ending, but I found it ridiculously awesome. Seriously, what a book. Now I've begun on Childhood's End, which I'm ashamed to say I've never gotten around to reading even though it is a treasured piece of SciFi literature and the work of my all-time favorite author. It's pretty darn good, but I doubt it'll live up to Clarke's 2001, which I worship. My only dissapointment with CE is that Clarke found it necessary to republish the book a few years back to make it seem that the aliens came from Mars instead of the Moon, since the original version was written pre-1969 and seems a tad ridiculous now. Still, a classic is a classic- don't mess with it.
Anyway, I won't bore you with the details of my reading materials. Or another sugar-induced sermon about genetic engineering (That can wait a few days.) Instead of thinking of such deep things, I'm forced to wonder why internet access has suddenly become such an expensive thing to obtain. It used to be that while passing through my local Airport, waiting for a flight, I could jump onto Gateworld and see what was going on in the distant, West Coast Canadian land of Vancouver, but no more. Right now I'm paying another $4.99 for one hour of connection at Starbucks. Seriously, I thought that internet connectivity was a courtesy thing for customers. I mean, I am a customer- I just bought a water of fair size to get rid of the headache of last night's once again misdirected run.
Oh yeah, that. See, I've fallen into this annoying pattern of wanting to run somewhere I never have before and ending up lost out of my mind. Now I want to make it clear that I do not have a classic case of being too prideful to ask directions (as I did ask directions on the 45 minute run turned 3 hours Monday morning), but I don't ask directions because of the fun of it. I'll admit I'm hopelessly lost, sure, but now the real fun comes- I get to find my way back. And usually I do. Usually.
But you see, sometimes getting back doesn't solve all of your problems. Like the time I had a singing commitment in two and a half hours and I figure'd I'd go for an hour run, but ended up getting lost in what appeared to be a sea of farmland, arriving fifteen minutes late to the commitment exhausted and completely parched. Believe me, singing is painful when you have 0% moisture in your throat and mouth.
But I don't mean to complain or seek sympathy.
Something that's really been bugging me recently is not Hollywood itself, as I am arguably its slave as far as science fiction goes, but rather how Hollywood effects our lives. You see, I've become quite irked with how many people have ceased to acknowledge the difference between the movies and real life. Take Chicago- you can't go to Chicago without the teens in your group basing their schedules at least partially on seeing something because it was in some romantic comedy they love obsessively, the scifi geek (in my case, me) relating all of the locations to what episode of Early edition it was seen in, and people of all ages scouting out 'that art museum from Ferris Bueller', more respectively known as the Art Institute, a fascinating place. Don't even get me started on New York.
But my point is that instead of experiencing things for ourselves, we are trying to relate them to fictional things we're already familiar with. If I were a Chicagon (Chicagan?Chicagun?Chicago-un?) I know I'd get sick of people referring to the home of my favorite baseball team as 'That place Ferris caught the ball'. Just a rant, and I know it's quite hypocritical, as whenever the word moonshine is heard my friend makes an allusion to Lt. Ford, and I correct him by saying the moonshine joke was actually employed first by Daniel in the pilot and that the Ford bit was an example of scriptual redundancy. Well, whatever. I've recognized a flaws not only in others but in myself as well.

With something that could pass as love on a rainy day,
Your Klingon

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


Thank God for Starbucks. If it wereen't for its blessed air-conditioned, coffee-aromaed, internet-connected (for only $4.99, though it only covers me for an hour) presence, I would not be able to throw my random sentiments out to my not-so-adoring (but oh-so-adorable) people. I'd like to apologize to anyone I confused the hell out of with my last post, seeing that I strayed from my topic just a little bit, but I'm told it was quite amusing. I'm not quite sure what to make of that.
So I've been reading a very good book called Spin. I'm sure it's positively famous or some such thing like that and that I'm just once again enclosed in my bubble of geeky ignorance, but I'd never heard of it. This is the only time in my memory when I've actually picked a random book off the Science Fiction shelf in Borders (the biggest frakking Borders you've ever seen!{Though, it still didn't have the music albums I was looking for; I'm starting to think that no one really likes the music I listen to}) and actually legit enjoyed it. Not that I've finished it. It could have a horrible ending as far as I know. Don't spoil it for me. If you want an outline of the plot, think of the Stargate Atlantis episode Epiphany. It's that, but a million times as good. Oh wait, Epiphany wasn't good at all. Except maybe for some good Mckay-Beckett bickering. Digresssion! But anyway, it brings up some great issues dealing with mortality on a large scale and whether it's right to "play the ball game when you already know the outcome". My only concern is that it's either set itself up for the coolest ending ever or the biggest cop-out finale in SciFi book history. Ok, so that's an exaggeration, but believe me, it would be bad.
It actually prompted some possible sermons for this post; I was excitedly planning during my sad, blogless nights, but after the mixed messages and slightly confusing nature of my last post I decided to just be boring and tell all about whatever the hell I want to talk about.
And here it is- the rebuttle. Genetic engineering is unethical, in my opinion, because it brings human life further away from a product of nature and more towards a product of desire. We've established that. But how exactly do you support the statement that humanity has already drifted from nature so far that it is a distinct separation? We are brought to considering the definition and ethics of human progress- We all have the line that we're afraid to cross: When do the detrimental effects that human progress (especially industrial) have outweigh the progress that is made? When is it unethical? My belief is that human progress is inevitable and, in the long run beneficial, but humans should do the best they can to lessen the blow on nature, even if that means practical sacrifice of their own. When dealing with genetic engineering issues this line is blurred- Are chosen-gender children (and clones, for that matter) more a product of nature or desire? Birth should remain a natural thing because it preserves the uniqueness of the person and makes them free of being molded as a person, as they would be if their gender or other physical characteristics had been chosen for them. Essentially, they would be bred for a purpose they themselves could not choose.

Just my two cents, sport fans.

Sunday, June 18, 2006


I told myself that I'd blog every day while I'm on my little vacation here, but unfortunately I was forced to break my promise due to a very busy day yesterday. Oh yeah, and the internet connection in my hotel is $14.99. Per day. Really though, I would've liked to. Needless to say, I've had a lot of time to think about what to blog about in this post. It's funny, though- the more time you have, the less decisive you are. I tossed around a hell of a lot ideas- continuing the story of 'Breakfast With Friends' (though that'll probably come up another time), the state of limbo that our emotions are perpetually caught in, the Darkness (yes Gavin, THAT Darkness), but nothing seemed to really suit.
So I guess it's time to counter the dark tone of last time with a sermon about happiness. And in a way, this does involve emotional flux- We all act as if happiness is just something you can just dish out. We go to the movies, read a book, sing a song, share a kiss, what have you, always looking forward and expecting that we'll gain something from the experience- and we do. But what excatly is it that we gain? Happiness. What is that? The pessimist will tell you that happinness is nothing but an illusion that comes about as a product of desire during a string of small pains, and I can certainly see where they're coming from- As I sat at dinner last night, I began to wonder just if I was really enjoying my meal and company, or if my teeth, slightly aching due to my habitual dental neglect, those two loud guys near us who were quite possibly on a steady path to exceeding tipsyness (though I'm not one to judge, as apparently I got our S&S bro all wrong), and the waiter who seemed just a bit irritable were all bugging me to the point where I chose to escape into the world of a beautiful night and pizza which was heavenly though frelling hot.
Now, I imagine that this seems to come off as uncharacteristically pessimistic of me, but quite honestly I can empathize with the views shared by those with negative views, because the proof the pessimist needs to prove his or her points is incredibly evident in this world, but it is the hidden proof that the optimist sees where others do not.
Maybe I've lost you a little bit. I would be outright lying if I told you that i did not have a tendancy to go off on a tangent, but I kid you not when I say that this makes sense in this context- the truth is that happiness is not a product of escaping evils, but is indeed a real, true thing. I claim this for exactly the same reason that an optimist differs from a pessimist- the optimist sees happiness where a pessimist sees only the surrounding perils. You see, we have this all backwards- happiness is not a product of evils, it is the ultimate good that makes the evils stand out, and we as human beings need to recognize the purity as the cause and not the effect to truly be complete.
So now I've reached the point where if I keep going I'll start rambling. And so, I leave you to your other blogging interests.

Those darn windbags.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Future Certain

In a time such as this, full of dangers that jump out in plain sight for all to see and beauties so subtle that the cynic sees them not, a future can be so very uncertain. How many of us have lied alone in beds and wondered just where we'll be in 10 years? 20? 40? The idea is a fearsome one. Will I indeed be successful? Will I be happy? Will I be alone? Unaccomplished?


Let's face it- death is scary. For many of us, fear of our uncertain future is fear of death, for they could be one and the same, or as far as we know our future could be "worse than death" if that's even possible. I believe it not to be. Not to say that death is an ultimate, horrific end in my mind. Many different people have different views on ways that death is the beginning of a new path or journey, and how it should not be feared, and that's all well and good. Heck, maybe they're right. But let me tell you something- the guy or girl that looks forward and says the disgustingly classic line 'Life's a bitch, then you die' condems themselves to a horrible existence, not just now, but later.
Life's a bitch. Sure. Following that mentality, I might as well not try to have fun now, because inevitably that fun'll come back and bite me in the aft quarters. So what's it worth? Then you die. Great. That's it, the ultimate end. "Well" says he or she who holds this mentality true to their heart, "Guess I proved my point; Life does end up sucking in the end. Whaddya know, I was right all along."
Well, I don't buy it. The way I see it, you only have one life in this form whether you believe in an afterlife or not (unless you're Buddhist or another religion with similar beliefs about rebirth, but in that case you don't remember your past lives so you feel like you only have one every time anyway), so go have fun. If it does come back to bite you, make sure that the fun outweighs the penalty.
Let me clarify- I'm not saying that you should go become a Grade-A criminal by participating in a shoot-out or getting into anything like that, because that contradicts the other philosophies that govern my reasoning, but make the best of this life as a good person, because really that's the only way you can guarantee yourself a bright future- live in the now, make sure that when you look back on what you did today, tomorrow, and next week you can appreciate your life so that no matter how brief or less brief it is, the rest of it will be downright amazing.

So some guy flipped me off in public today. Never met him. Oh yeah, and I got a new hat. Smokin'.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Puppies, Ponies, Unicorns, Jesus

Just kidding. This entry is actually to announce my new double-blogging- instead of throwing out the old theme for this blog and replacing it with my progress updates, I've decided to keep this blog the way it is and create a second one focused on my projects. So take a look at it if you can; it's called "Where it All Goes Down", URL While I'm being self-absorbed over there I'll make sure here to keep the peace and the love, and damn right I'll keep the Star Trek.

The bottle's not empty.
Your voices are all there.
My life will fight
My body for air.

Higher Purpose

So I believe that this post officially enters me into what has been declared 'Blogging for the sake of blogging', as I'm now posting even though there haven't been any major developments since my last update. I've been considering how to give this blog a higher purpose, as I'm not sure I actually like how it's going now. I've decided on what to do with it. Actually, in that case, I suppose I have made a development- I've decided what to do with the blog. You see, this blog will for the most part cease to be an outlet for stories of what's happening in my life and begin to be more of a pathetic attempt at an art form. Also, it will monitor my progress on my various projects. For example, I've begun my script for "You Got Borged" and hope to make much progress in the coming weeks. I'm considering assuming the role of the antagonist since it being so uncharacteristic of me should contribute to the strangely comedic tone of the film. Also, I hope to direct. Coup D'etat, on the other hand, is at a stand-still. I've once again hit that point in my writing where I have what I believe to be a brilliant idea, but no idea how to get the ideas out on paper. This time, I'm determined to fight through this obstacle.

If I am anything, then this is who I am.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Sunrise and Regrets

So turns out that that 6 hour Voyager marathon turned out to be over 12 hours long. The guys and I got to see the sun rise as it ended- very metaphoric in a sort of inside-out way. I have to say, both literally and metaphorically I'm more a fan of sunsets than sunrises. Sunsets are just awesome because they have not only yellows, but reds and pinks. Metaphorically, sunsets are awesome because with sunrises you look forward at what could happen in the coming day, whereas at sunset you look back and can fully appreciate how great the day was. That said, this sunrise was pretty cool, maybe just because I still had that orgasmic shot of the sun coming out from behind the planet at the end of the Voyager theme video.
Speaking of orgasmic, maybe I went a bit harsh on vertical in my last post. I apologize; you know I love you in that 'Kirk loves Scotty' type way. Not like peanut butter loves jelly, because that'd b about as sketch as some guy sitting in his car smoking in the Stop-and-Shop parking lot at 11:30 at night.

See you next time, padawans.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Dreaming of Breakfast With Friends

So one is forced to wonder why my URL is breakfastwithfriends instead of something like peaceloveandstartrek. Well, it's all part of an elaborate scheme to take over the tv and film industry. That and I'm sticking it to the man (my man justifiably_vertical, that is) as I prove that dreams of fame and fun aren't stupid and childish. But really, he's a cool guy.
You see, my original plan was to create a movie called "Breakfast with Friends" and sell it as an independent film. It was going to be a comedy that made fun of romantic comedies while at the same time being touching as it explored the deep friendships of a sort of "Breakfast Club" of the next generation. So this movie would be a huge hit, and then my myriad fans would say "Hey, I wonder if there's a 'Breakfast With Friends' blog" and they'd end up here, where they'd link to my site ( and boost its popularity so that website, my true love, would become extremely popular.
Not to say that I've aborted that plan, but I now have another reason to keep my seemingly random URL- justifiably_vertical. He and I were throwing around a joke about creating a sitcom in the vein of Seinfeld called "Breakfast With Friends" that would basically follow the day-to-day uniqueness of our ives and roamings. The thing is, I wasn't actually very serious about it, but the running joke prompted jverts to pound me for all of the dreams I had that "would never happen". I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'm not into pessimism. After all, if no one ever had dreams, where would we be?
So all I ask of you tonight, my nonexistent readers, is to dream big, and don't ever let someone else bring you down. Oh yeah, and post something rude on justifiably_vertical's blog comments.

Bon Voyage

The Meaning of Life

And that's what it is- Peace, Love, and Star Trek... Here you are thinking I'm kidding. No joke. A friend of mine came up with the phrase a few months back, and at first I laughed it off too. Ok, so now you're thinking what a huge loser I am. A Trekkie, in all my geekiness. Well, I won't deny it. Yes, I enjoy Star Trek, and yes, my enjoyment does go to the point where I'm about to have a six-hour Voyager marathon with some friends. The truth is, when I talk about Trek like this, I don't mean the show. Or the books, or the movies...or the insanely attractive actors. I mean the idea. The reason that Trek came into being in the first place- unity. Good ol' Gene wanted to show that there was hope for the human race to unite in a time of segregation, sexism, and additional prejudices so numerous that I can't count them in binary. And in a world of terrorism, hate crimes, and a government so knee-deep in conflict it almost seems that they want to go to war, how is today any different? Really the name of this blog should just be "Star Trek" or "Peace, Love, and Hope" because those three together are the idea of Trek, plain and simple. My title is absolutely redundant.
A pacafist, coward- call me what you will, but if this blog achieves one thing, I hope it is to give any readers the feeling that there is hope for unity in any and every sense. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a Voyager marathon to rock.