Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My Final Blog Post Before I Leave Blogspot Forever

Is not this one, thank God! Woo, that was a close one.

Had you going there for a second, hehe.

Do not search for me in a crowd of people, but let the crowd lead you home. I will be there waiting.

-Jesus ( Ok no, but he would have said it!)

Monday, July 10, 2006

Poetic Outlet

In the beginning
There was birth
In a day with a beginning all its own.
With Sunrise.
A sun that, in the blink of an eye
Billowed into existence
The life of all men and women,
And with a cough
And a final, vengeful assault
Did die out just as quickly and inevitably
As it was concieved.
The definitive sunset
And death of the infant child
Now wizened and grey,
His cough rocks the world
But his legs haven't the strength
For the assault to leave his own soul.
How easily turbulence reminds us of the inconsistency of life
We find ourselves at a loss
Even to locate a consistent beginning.
How is it that we are so sure of the End?

When air tastes like water, and water like honey, a happy soul finds paradise in their hellish pain.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

You Only Live Once

It's a phrase so obvious and blatantly true that its power and significance to us as mortal beings is astounding. There he goes, he said "mortal". Golly gee willickers, he's giving us another death talk. Well, no, sorry. I think I've pretty much covered that subject at the present time.
What I want to talk about is how people interpret the fact that life only comes once in an eternity (as far as we know) for any individual, and how they use that fact to further themselves. Specifically, I'm talking about friendships and romantic relationships.
There is such a pressure for people to be romantically active, and if that's their choice I'm fine with that. But ever since the beginning of civilization there has been pressure upon young people especially to form bonding pairs, as I remember hearing once that some ancient civilizations would marry off deceased, unmarried young women because they felt so strongly that love between a man and a woman (nowadays not always limited to such) was that important. It is important, but I fail to understand why people find it strange that I have no desire at this time to pair. Hell, I'm young. I don't know what I want in a girl, I don't know how to get it, and I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship. It will always remain a mystery to me why, aside from in my ring of friends, the majority of my peers cannot comprehend that. It's not that I'm not attracted to people- I am, but nothing strong enough to be earth-shattering, and I find that any attraction I begin to feel I push away in a short time. Maybe someday I will be ready for a relationship; there's an equal chance that I'll never find the need. Maybe it's my naive outlook on the world, as I'm sure my friends who have experienced teenage love would kindly condescend me by saying "You don't understand, you will when you meet her.", but I truly feel that friendship is such a strong bond that it's all a some men (and women) need.
I want to make it clear that I don't mean to speak down to couples at all, because if that works for them, then so be it. It just may not be the right path for me. Only time will tell.
What it really comes down to, then, is that I have two lives I wish to live in one lifetime, and I know with almost absolute certainty that they can never coexist. When my high school career was commencing, my uncle sat me down and started telling me about how, in high school, he had dated a girl through all four years. He reflected upon how this had brought him away from his friends and how he regrets this very much. This is something that all people entering into a relationship accept, but it is not something I am willing to yet. Part of me wants to have a family and a wife down the road, but another wants to be independent and living it up with my friends all around. For now, I'm attracted inevitably to the independence, and I pray that people can accept that.