Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Missing: One Crapulator

Once upon a time there was a stupid little boy who lost not only his calculator but that of his good friend's. This idiotic little tipo put off the issue of having to recover and/or buy calculators for next school year, not wanting to consider the 150-plus dollars which would inevitably have to leave his (proverbial) wallet (No, JV, you can't get THAT much from the money cup). All summer he tried not to think about it, but without prompt it would suddenly surge at him on dark, sinful nights of adventure and corruption. He feared that the price to pay for those unspeakable sins would not begin to measure up to in any capacity the arm, leg, or other appendage he would need to sacrifice to bounce back from his debt of moronicness.
Finally, and tragically (for more reasons that algebraic disadvantages) summer rolled on out of town, leaving behind it nothing but memories, desires, and a tumbleweed that to this day rolls through town just begging the local burly men for a rendezvous at high noon. Anonymous boy (If anyone has an istrice for a brain, that's me, Sherlock) at long last was forced to face the music.
And by the grace of God (EDIT: higher power??) and my own blessed stupidity, I was saved- A friend lent the other friend a calculator indefinitely, and, as we all know, I bought one off ebay. And I love it with all my heart.
Loved it. That's right, the Crapulator is GONE. I can't seem to locate it, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. If one good thing has come of this, it's that I now have blog post material, and I will keep you posted as the search commences, and continues.

-OSK

"It's not unreal! It's real, I tell you! I've seen it!"- Stonewall Gutenberg

1 comment:

Juicy said...

"dark sinful nights of adventure and corruption"

right....