It's a phrase so obvious and blatantly true that its power and significance to us as mortal beings is astounding. There he goes, he said "mortal". Golly gee willickers, he's giving us another death talk. Well, no, sorry. I think I've pretty much covered that subject at the present time.
What I want to talk about is how people interpret the fact that life only comes once in an eternity (as far as we know) for any individual, and how they use that fact to further themselves. Specifically, I'm talking about friendships and romantic relationships.
There is such a pressure for people to be romantically active, and if that's their choice I'm fine with that. But ever since the beginning of civilization there has been pressure upon young people especially to form bonding pairs, as I remember hearing once that some ancient civilizations would marry off deceased, unmarried young women because they felt so strongly that love between a man and a woman (nowadays not always limited to such) was that important. It is important, but I fail to understand why people find it strange that I have no desire at this time to pair. Hell, I'm young. I don't know what I want in a girl, I don't know how to get it, and I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship. It will always remain a mystery to me why, aside from in my ring of friends, the majority of my peers cannot comprehend that. It's not that I'm not attracted to people- I am, but nothing strong enough to be earth-shattering, and I find that any attraction I begin to feel I push away in a short time. Maybe someday I will be ready for a relationship; there's an equal chance that I'll never find the need. Maybe it's my naive outlook on the world, as I'm sure my friends who have experienced teenage love would kindly condescend me by saying "You don't understand, you will when you meet her.", but I truly feel that friendship is such a strong bond that it's all a some men (and women) need.
I want to make it clear that I don't mean to speak down to couples at all, because if that works for them, then so be it. It just may not be the right path for me. Only time will tell.
What it really comes down to, then, is that I have two lives I wish to live in one lifetime, and I know with almost absolute certainty that they can never coexist. When my high school career was commencing, my uncle sat me down and started telling me about how, in high school, he had dated a girl through all four years. He reflected upon how this had brought him away from his friends and how he regrets this very much. This is something that all people entering into a relationship accept, but it is not something I am willing to yet. Part of me wants to have a family and a wife down the road, but another wants to be independent and living it up with my friends all around. For now, I'm attracted inevitably to the independence, and I pray that people can accept that.
5 comments:
you can say that now, but you'll understand when you meet her...lol
My issue is that while for most people it is true that the lifestyles could coexist, for me I fear that it is not, for both of the lifestyles seem to hate the idea of the other.
"It's not that I'm not attracted to people- I am, but nothing strong enough to be earth-shattering"
...thats totally normal, you're only in highschool! you may not even have enough experience to make something 'earth shattering' And as for all the couples our age you see completely attached at the hip...no worries, i doubt thats 'earth shattering' either lol. (its just hormones and hype)
" I find that any attraction I begin to feel I push away in a short time."
...this is probably based on a deep seated psycological fear of rejection, and it is also by no means uncommon. (though i dont know enough about it to just put it at that, i'm free if you ever want to chat, i enjoy talking to people and helping them)
You say you want to live it up with your friends and settle down as well, which a lot of other people want to do aswell. That's why, even though our lives are not infinite, they are not too short either. Who wants to be stuck to someone in their late teens and twenties when most people are out having fun? surely thats the time to do it. The reason most people settle down and get a family and all that (which is equally if not more satisfying) is because they tire of the fast-paced 20s/30s lifestyle and look for a more relaxed change. It is perfectly possible- and common- to do both. Rarely do people keep doing and wanting the same thing for their entire lives, in fact, i might even venture to say it's not human nature.
And if you still have any concerns, one of the greatest things abnout the society we live in today is the fact that it is so open, and allows people (of both genders!) to live as they want without judgement. Wanna keep playing beer pong with your buddies till you have grandkids? go ahead, you just might need to be more selectoive about where and when you do it. Not wanna have kids at all? that's ok too. Or do you wanna settle down at 18? you may regret it later (I know people that have) but you are perfectly OK to do so.
um....ppl would totaly judge u if u played beer pong with grandkids
...damn!
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