I'm endlessly amused by how Shigero and co. pay so much attention to keeping the rules of gravity correct on certain planets, and then they create completely bogus gravity-defying mechanics to feed their own fancy. I mean, I still don't quite get how hitting an arrow in a different direction can cause the gravity to shift in that respect. Or how Bowser has the power to throw himself and Mario from his throne area onto the giant orb of doom. Or how Mario can never fall off of the space station, and also can't wak on the bottom of it. And I have a few gravitational queries about Rosalina, but we'll not go there.
Ah, the speed run. This time it's Sandblast; could be challenging. There's one part where there's a snake-like planet comprised almost completely of non-deadly quicksand circulating in a rapid current. As you travel down this 3D river (I guess all rivers are 3D, but this one makes more use of the 3rd dimension. Think of it sort of like how Mario Sunshine is a 4D game). This river itself is perplexing; Bowser must have worked his ridiculously jumping-the-shark superpowers on it. I mean, why is there a constant circular flow of sand? If the planet itself is the gravitational body around which the sand orbits, then shouldn't all of the sand be moving (or at least oriented) towards a point central to the snake? Is this mass of earth so incredibly not dense that the sand just flies around it erratically? But there is an order. Besides, how would Mario be able to maintain aposition on the planet? Screw it, let's balme it n Bowser Voodoo.
Speaking of Bowser, isn't Nintendo giving him a little too much credit with this game? Back in the days of Paper Mario 2 (Not so long ago) he was just a pathetic side-criminal who had to resort to fighting Mario in a bxing ring to maintain his pride because someone else had kidnapped Peach. Then in Sunshine, he resorted to pathetic tactics of pollution. This was most likely the result of Global Warming Activist Propoganda (Also known as them funding Nintendo), but it still didn't make him look that great. I mean, we fought him in a fucking bath tub. But somehow, he's managed to pull out space travel (Paper Mario 1 ripoff), weapons of mass mushroom destruction, and gravity-defying powers. Seriously man (dino?), who died and made you God? Honestly though, if I were Peach, I'd probably marry Bowser already. Apparently there's no such thing as a restraining order. She's already seen that no matter what she does, she's going to end up a captive of Bowser again and again. And personally, I'd take KIng of everything evil (and therefore most good things too) over a portly plumber.
Of course, I'm just saying this for want of Rosalina. Seriously Peach, beat it.
-OSK
What the eff is this kid doing? I just said "What the eff is this kid doing?"
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