Tuesday, January 29, 2008

PMAT PMAT, SAT SAT

Alas, no Bio on the SATs.
Yes, I recently had the experience of taking the dreaded SATs for the first time. I’m not a total idiot, but I’m not ridiculously bright either, so to be honest I was a bit worried about the whole thing. What with this year and next year supposedly being the hardest years to get into college since the beginning of time, I like to imagine that somehow doing well on the SATs will deliver me into the college of my dreams (not that I have the slightest clue as to what that college is). The unfortunate (fortunate?) truth is that more and more colleges don’t even give a rat’s ass about the SATs, and they’ll likely be a small matter in the admissions process at a lot of schools.
The funny thing about the test was that it wasn’t actually that hard, compared to what I was expecting. I didn’t leave any problems blank save for a few at the end of the third math section (ridiculous), and one sentence completion with words I’m sure they invented. But I had no time to heave a sigh of relief at the test’s apparent ease (We’ll see how it really went soon), as I had to take a practice test the very next day.
You see, I’m enrolled in an SAT prep class because neither my parents nor I have real faith that I can kick serious butt on the test. The class itself is actually quite amusing; our instructor is definitely one of the weirdest guys I’ve met, though he’s only creepy sometimes. Constantly making references to drugs to account for student’s virus-caused sniffling, and even going as far as suggesting that one of our students probably wants to grow up to be a porn star (We think he was kidding, but we’re not sure), we students are left to wonder how he ever landed a job with teenagers. Just the other week, the class was going a little crazy, and he made an aside comment to a few of us, stating that the experience reminded him of an acid flashback. Yeah, might not want to spread that around.
Our newest scheme is to ask him to tell us is life story. I imagine it’s either thrilling interesting or terribly weird. Either way, intriguing. However, we won’t be able to do this for a while, as we don’t have class over long weekend (Thank God. No standardized testing is taking my mini dwarf of a vacation from me), and we had a practice test last time.
Oh right, the practice test. As I said, the day after we took the actual SAT we were forced to take a practice one. Two days in a row? Hell, believe me. I tried to get out of it, but the rents weren’t cool with me skipping, so I ended up spending another four hours in a grey(blue?)-scale bubble-graphed misery. Turns out I was only one of six people, as opposed to the 20 we usually have. Apparently two days in a row isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
The practice test started out terribly. Essay first, but I guess that’s not so bad when you consider that you’re getting it out of the way. The topic was about whether it’s better to take action or gather knowledge, and I swear to God, I almost referenced Batman Begins. You know, the whole “actions define you” thing. I mean, after all, what does knowledge and opinion do for you and the world at large if you never do anything with it? Change comes from action, no passive thought. But what am I justifying my thesis to my reader(s?) for? You really don’t care. In any case, apparently a friend of mine actually made up a book and author to reference in his actual SAT essay. Ballsy, I’m intrigued to see how it plays out.
But what was really bad about the practice SAT was that I started out feeling sick. And I’m not talking about mildly uncomfortable sick, I’m talking about a lesser version of that night lying on Koops/J_V’s couch, burping my heart out. I never really got that burp thing, but it still happens, and I still hate it.
Eventually I got better, but I had absolutely no work ethic for the practice SAT right after the real one, especially since the practice turned out to be way harder. I guaranteee that I did 100s worse on the practice than I did on the real thing. Guess I can trust the prep company then; they sure do a thorough job of testing. Moral of the story: Never take the SATs two days in a row. Ever.

On an unrelated note, I’ve had another play idea. This one’s going on the backburner for now, as I’ve got a few projects to tackle before then, but I’m still intrigued by it. It takes place in a running shoe store, based off of the one us blogger runners frequent. There are four characters, all male. The first is the elderly (70s) store owner who is an experienced runner and who cannot run any longer because of his age. The next character is a sophomore in high school who starts out enthusiastic about running, and ends realizing that his running career is coming to an end, as he will not be good enough to run in college. The third is a college runner who is nearing the end of his career, as he is too occupied with family ties to continue after college. The fourth is a professional runner is his late 30s, who is coming to terms with the fact that his body is breaking down. The first scene features the teenager and the college student shopping for shoes, the second scene the college student and the professional, the third the teenager and the professional, and the fourth all three of them. The owner is present in all scenes. Each scene takes place one year after the last, and we slowly see as an audience the trio coming to terms with the end of their competitive running. Each older man represents to the younger ones what they could have been if they had been born stronger, had tried harder, and had been luckier. The one issue is that there’s not enough conflict. But maybe there doesn’t need to be.

-OldSchoolKlingon

Benjamin Disraeli lies.

2 comments:

Juicy said...

mmmm, pepperoni....


you realize the only people who will get that play are probably, well, runners?

OSK said...

Well, not necessarily. Everyone should certainly be able to relate to phases of people's lives coming to an end. Besides, each is really dealing with more than the end of their running career; the high school kid is dealing with leaving his highs chool friends behind and going to college, the college student dealing with graduating and going out into the world, a world he sees as less fun and more difficult than anything he's ever experienced. The professional runner is dealing with issues of growing old and deteriorating, and the shop owner is someone who ahs been through all that. Depending on which way you look at it, the shop owner is either an assurance that every one of them will turn out okay, or a statement of the lonely isolation which they will end up in. After all, they're all really the same guy in different stages of life.