Germans Are the Worst Parents Ever

They are. Having just come from a Broadway production of “Spring Awakening”, a self-proclaimed “perversion” of an apparently classic play, I’ve decided Germans should stop producing children until they figure out how to do it right.
A quick overview of the plot for the unfamiliar: ((((({{SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!11111111ROFL1337!!!!!!11111
A quick note- A friend of mine here at Charles Manson’s version of Theater Camp came up to me and said “I’m not just 1-3-3-7, I’m 3-1-3-3-7”. I haven’t yet decided whether I think it’s adorable or sickening. I guess I should just find it refreshing that a girl is 1. Aware of such a thing as leet and 2. Able to be somewhat creative with it. It should be noted that this girl is currently in pursuit of a friend of mine whom I have hardcore Star Trek debates with. Needless to say, I’m doing all I can to expedite their procreation.
In any case, Spring Awakening. Here’s the deal- It’s 1891 Germany, and parents are too afraid to explain sex to their kids, so this one teenager looks it up, and, knowing full well the consequences, essentially date rapes his best friend who has no idea what sex is even after the fact. These kids are 15. The rapist’s best friend then fails school and his father (another horrible parent) exaggerates and tells his son his life isn’t worth it anymore. So the best friend kills himself. Then date raped girl finds out she’s pregnant, and is all like “Wow, I guess a guy putting his penis into you is what gets you pregnant.” Honestly, common sense. Her mother (another horrible parent) then forces her to go to a sketchy abortionist whose practice kills her. Bottom line- Germans should never be parents. I could site some historical precedents for the discontinuation of Germany as well, but I’m a bit afraid my joking racism may not translate so well on the interblags.
On the topic of things people shouldn’t do: Today at lunch I walked past a kid from the Dramatic Writing program wearing a reimagined series Battlestar Galactica shirt. Needless to say, I excited, as surely only the most devout of fans would make such a purchase. I approached his table, being fairly friendly with a lot of the DW kids he was keeping as company, and asked him “So who do you think the fifth is?” to which he responded “Oh, I’m not watching Season Four yet; I’m waiting for the DVD”. Poser. Don’t tease me like that. Poser.
Another weak segue- Scifi shirts. I began this post last night and just recently resumed it, having spotted 3-1-3-3-7’s romantic interest wearing a shirt with a picture of the Enterprise D, under which is written “sweet ride”. I think I’m starting to want him as much as she does.

Waveringly heterosexually,
-OSK

Pierce Brosnan has given me more joy than I have ever known. More on that soon