LeVar Burton Told Me To

You may be able to tell by my recent summary of the Vietnam War conspiracy that I’m not exactly doing so great with education right now. The truth is, this musical has really taken away from my studies. Usually I wouldn’t mind this, as I suspect theater will have a much larger on my influence than the majority of my academic subjects, but I do feel guilty about not getting work in, especially when it piles up. As if the guilt weren’t enough, I’m now getting crap from teachers. One in particular says he “feels abused” because he thinks I’ve been using the show as an excuse to not do his class’ work. The worst part about this is that most teachers have a dillusion that if they say they’re cutting you slack, it means they’re cutting you slack. This means that I’ve been getting a lot of “I know I’ve been cutting you a lot of slack, but…” when in actuality I’ve gotten guilt trips and tongue lashings all week.
Now that the show is actually at the performance stage, it’s not nearly as stressful as it was. The first performance was a lot of fun, and we’ve all generally cooled down. However, it’s hard to forget the nervous misery of anxiety from the last week. Between stressful rehearsals and being berated by teachers, I feel that I need to do some things that will remind me that life is actually a lot of fun sometimes.
I am not what you would call a productive member of society. I have barely any work ethic, and my mind is of a rigid structure, always trying to resist absorbing new knowledge. This makes school work a bitch. My theory for how I got this way is by nurture. After all, I’ve got a pretty sharp mind when it comes to creativity, and I used to be a pretty smart kid in other academic aspects back in my middle school days. This leads me to believe that I have a lot of buried/lost potential. I likely fried this potential by beginning a cycle when I was very young which continues, to a degree, today: My gluttony. As a child I fed myself absurd amounts of video games and television while other children were likely reading books and actually trying to understand their math homework, whereas I just learned enough math to barely slide by. All of the aforementioned bad choices (save for maybe the television obsession) I continue to make today. But when I say “bad choices”, I mean from an academic standpoint. Basically, my habits are frowned upon by pretty much everyone. However, I’m not so sure I regret them. After all, I don’t do any of this mindless crap instead of my work, I just allow them to lull me into a mental coma when I’ve got free time.
The misconception that most adults hold is that, because I enjoy spending free time that way, and because I’m not the best student, they assume I slack instead of doing work. Usually I’d brush this off as them being judgmental jerks, but during Hell week it’s a little too…dick-like.
I don’t mean to make it sound like a moron, I’m just a bit stressed out since we just ahd a 2-hour talk about colleges. It terrified me because all of the advice we were given seemed to work on the assumption that we were all brilliant, a claim which I can’t quite make.
Still, I do regret not stretching my brain in the last couple of years. Frankly, after Hell Week, I need something to restore my faith in humanity (the Brotherhood of Man). First off, I haven’t seen a play in about a year. In my hierarchy of happiest places to be, at a good (modern) play is third, after at a concert and at a baseball game. I’m really desperate to see a play from the outside once again. Believe me, the view’s a bit narrow from backstage.
Secondly, I’m going to read a book. What with school commitments usually taking up about 10 hours of every day, I never have the time to read, and even lost the desire for a while. English class, however, has reawakened me. In a weird way, I’m actually enjoying Gatsby. 3 chapters in and I don’t quite see the point of it yet, but it’s easy to read, and mildly interesting. After all of the other stuff we’ve read, I assumed reading was always painful, but now I remember. So, my two steps to slight enlightenment are 1. See a (modern) play, and 2. Read an interesting book.
Now if I could only find the time.

-OSK

I love Dispatch, but who the hell is Pete Francis?