Calamari, Bitch

Shine Count: 17
Blue Coin Count: 30

So we wimped out on the Bianco Hills 100 coin star. Usually I wouldn't allow this to happen, but the course is so miserably devoid of coins that the prospect is appalling. I mean, if you thought Dire, Dire Docks was a bitch of a 100 coin star, you haven't ever played Sunshine. A bunch of the coins are obtained only by doing random poop like spraying the doors of houses. Indeed, I often find that money pours from the threshold of my house when I douse it with a hose. Haha, many less-than-classy puns have come from the FLUDD water pack Mario squirts everything with (supersoaking Peach). In any case, we just endured some Shines which were a real pain, so I'm going to use that as justification for wimping out.

Koops has resorted to conspiracy theories fo why he's fallen.

You'd think Bowser would incorporate a level without water in it, given that without water Mario would be screwed. Then again, Bowser's never been the smartest fellow, what with him putting Stars and Shines in accessible locations instead of within "the walls" of the castle/island. I never got that, actually. I mean, we hardcore 64ers know that castle inside and out. There is no place where Bowser could have put a door into secret rooms in the castle that we wouldn't know. Well, I guess those doors could be outside of the playing field of the game, but the area surrounding Peach's castle appears to be completely ocean. Bowser worked nautics into his kidnapping plan? Maybe the guy's smarter than we give him credit for. Nah, he's probably just holding Peach and co. in the black room of death (More on that later).

And by the way, TTBM says there's no way we're beating Galaxy in our time span. Let's show him.

Oh, and since when does Donald Duck tell "That's what she said" jokes?

Musical stylings tonight: Rage Against the Machine (Evil Empire) and State Radio (YOTC). On the topic of these culturally relevant bands , I've been taking much pleasure in dropping lyric quotes in History class and trying to pass them off as legitimate contributions to the conversations ("Well Mike, it's because we'ev got bombs,a nd they;ve got barrels of gasoline" and "It's like a bullet in our heads" (I'm suprised no one caught the blatnt nature of that one. Maybe someone did and they just dislike Rage. Hilariously, I actually had a classmate tell me they were suprised to see that I listened to "Satan music" after they saw "Bulls on Parade. Dude, that's something old people say about political music. I guess the angelic OSK image from a few years back has stuck. In any case, video game marathons are good to rock out to.

Which brings up the topic of "Breaking the Habit", a post I almost made before I remembered I ahd to write a huge chunk of my English paper. The "habit" is slow music, and I've sworn it off this winter, and perhaps, beyond. I'm not talking about slow Dispatch, singing about Zimbabwean kidsand Old Man River, I'm talking about love songs. Last year I immersed myself in the likes of "Train" and "Matchbox Twenty". Solid groups, sure, but they tore me apart. I've come to realize that at my core I am a rocker, and to allow myself to be enveloped in the dreary sadness of winter is a self-betrayal that I will not torment myself with again.

"Mystery of the Tower" for Koops is definitely analogous to my exploits in Snowball Valley with silver coins. Which is to say we're probably making the same mistake over and over again without realizing it. I think he's taken a liking to the hover function of the FLUDD ho-supersoaker because he's so used to having the immortalization of eternal-jump Kirby. He insists it's ironic because he's bad with it. He always had a problem supersoaking. Ooooooh, might need some supersuchering for that BURN. Yeah, i know that doesn't make sense; shut up.

-OSK

Gooper Bdooder Blooper TBooper...Whatever, the Blooper's back!